Senior Year Update: Week 12

Time for some honesty: I was a little worried about putting this up. I think it came from the pressure to present life like this joyous and constantly fun place when, in reality, it’s not always like that. And the reason I’m posting this is because one of the purposes of this blog is to write about my life and how I felt every step of the way regardless of whether it was a good thing or a bad thing.

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Week 12 (10/25-10/31)

I don’t know why I’m writing this. Nothing good has happened this week. I had a 12-16 page paper to write and I thought it was going to be fine. But Thursday night rolled around and I didn’t have enough research for it and was up until 2. It was ridiculousness. Friday was just exhausting because of that.

I failed a math quiz.

My knee injury continues to persist and I’m scheduled for some physical therapy, which I guess I’m excited for. But I desperately want to get back out on the field and play. And yea, I might complain about having to go practice sometimes but I detest being stuck on the sidelines. I feel like I’ve become crappy decoration for my team and that I’m just letting them down. It just sucks.

I continued reading The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. So far I’m not in love with it. In fact I can’t even say I’m even enjoying it. But I’ll leave all of that for my review after I’ve finished.

And this weekend I felt more like an outsider than I’ve felt in a really long time. I felt like the weird kid on the playground who wants to join in with all the fun that everyone else is having but can’t because I wasn’t invited. And I’m usually okay with that but it feels like it’s happening more and more frequently. It’s like thinking you have somewhere you belong, at least a little, and having that yanked from you. No warning, no explanation, nothing.

But I guess that crappy feeling got me to talk to someone who understands where I’m coming from. It was nice to vent to someone who was just going to listen without trying to insert their opinion or try to pat me on the head and say “snap out of it”. They just let me talk and then we worked through how I was feeling, at least a little. And I got to do the same for them. It was comforting to know that someone was there who understood, even it it was just a little. So I guess something good did happen.

Random word I just learned: Petrichor (ˈpeˌtrīkôr) a pleasant smell that frequently accompanies the first rain after a long period of warm, dry weather

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